Jonathan Staples

Breaking the Silence: My Journey from Trauma to Triumph

Breaking the Silence: My Journey from Trauma to Triumph

I’m not quite sure how to start this. Do I go with “I DID IT, WOOP WOOP” or “It’s 3 AM, 36 hours post-race, and I am broken”? I think the latter—though maybe that’s just my old friend, the inner critic, creeping in. But before I talk about the race, I want to talk about something much bigger. As ive touched on in previous blogs below ,Therapy. My story. My nightmare. My shame, my guilt, and my regret.

Facing the Past

Picture this: I’m standing at the top of a sand dune. The sun is shining, the sand is golden, and the sea glistens in the distance. The wind is gentle, and the only sound is the ringing of my tinnitus.

"Focus on one point, Jon."

"Now play your story in your mind."

This was the first time I’d been asked to voluntarily confront my trauma, to replay that moment in my head. I hesitated. The critic was already perched on my shoulder, waiting to tear me down. I barely made it through the beginning before the tears started, and I broke. My heart pounded. My head ached. I wanted the ground to swallow me whole.

But Mike, my therapist, recognized what was happening immediately. “It’s OK,” he reassured me. From that moment, we started to unpack the critic’s role in my life—how it manipulated my emotions and kept me trapped in guilt, shame, and regret.

Over the next few sessions, I learned to identify the patterns, the triggers, and the lies my critic told me. I learned that trauma, like a story, has a beginning, middle, and end. More importantly, I learned that what happened in my past would have happened whether I was there or not. That realization changed everything.

I began to understand the difference between feeling grief for a horrific event and being consumed by misplaced guilt and shame. When I think about my story now, I still get emotional—because it was horrific. But it’s different. I’ve told the critic to leave me alone.

It wasn’t my fault.

I don’t need to carry guilt.

I don’t need to feel ashamed.

I don’t need to live with regret.

With the right coping strategies, my nightmares have eased, and I can finally begin my journey to recovery.

Who Am I?

I’ve always struggled with that question. At 43, I’m still figuring it out.

But what I do know is this: Less than 36 hours ago, I crossed the finish line of a 43-mile (70-kilometer) ultramarathon from Brecon to Cardiff. Right now, I’m lying in bed, aching from my little toe to the cold burn on my face. But I am beaming with pride. Because I know a little more about who I am.

I am Jon.

I am mentally strong.

And I can run an ultramarathon.

I’m far from “fixed.” But my journey—from wanting to end it all to completing an ultramarathon—proves what’s possible when you just ask for help.

You Are Not Alone

If you take one thing from my story, let it be this: Pick up the phone. Ask for help. Whether it’s Combat Stress or another incredible charity, there are people out there ready to support veterans and serving military personnel.

Every story is different. Every trauma is different. No matter how big or small, you deserve help. Don’t be ashamed. Reach out.

To everyone who donated, sent kind words, or stood at the finish line believing in me—thank you. You helped me get to the end.

But I’m not stopping. March in March is just around the corner, and I will run, walk, or crawl if I have to, to hit my 200-mile goal.

Because this journey isn’t over yet.

2 weeks in....

My Journey to Recovery and Why I’m Participating in This Charity Event

Hello everyone,

I want to share a personal journey with you and explain why this charity event means so much to me. Around 18 months ago, my battle with PTSD became unbearable. For 16 years, I had lived with it—suffering from nightmares and repeatedly reliving a traumatic event. It reached a point where I felt completely broken, ready to give up.

 

The fear of my own thoughts was overwhelming, and I knew I had to ask for help. This was not an easy decision; it came with immense feelings of shame, failure, and self-disgust. A voice in my head, which I’ve come to call “The Critic,” thanks ‘Mike!’ amplified these feelings. But reaching out for help was the first step in my recovery.

 

I spoke to my doctor and started reflecting on my triggers. It was late October, and the constant fireworks were taking a toll on me. Each bang sent me into a panic—heart racing, dropping to the ground instinctively. These sounds reminded me of my time in active service, though my traumatic experience wasn’t from combat but a decision I made and its consequences whilst on operations in Afghanistan.

 

This realisation pushed me to seek professional help. I was referred to NHS Veterans Wales and began my journey toward healing. Its not easy; I took time off work, which brought its own guilt, but it was necessary.

 

Now, as I train for this charity event, I’m rediscovering my resilience. My legs ache, doubts creep in, but I’m determined. My therapist once asked me, “Who are you, Jon?” It’s a question I’m still answering, but each step brings me closer to understanding myself.

 

This event isn’t just about physical endurance; it’s a symbol of my recovery and resilience. I hope my story inspires others to seek help and find their own strength. And I leave you with a challenge: ask yourself, “Who are you really?”

 

Thank you for supporting me and this cause. Combat stress can be your first step to recovery. Give them a call go on you can do it!

 

Jon Staples

Training in full swing after a Christmas break

 2 days in and now with sore Calf's but a clear head, 35km's covered 3 mountains climbed through Ice and snow and a gentle run to kick start the week. It's going to be a challenge. You are probably thinking "he must be fit". I can assure you I am not, at least not anymore.  Mental health issues have taken its toll on me. I am overweight at 96kgs today and have a challenge ahead of me. But since having support from my therapist I have been able to lose since September 2024 28kgs. Losing weight is just one way that will drive my mental health in the positive direction I need towards being the person I used to be, before the critic in my brain took over me. I am in control and I will succeed.

Support me Running through February into my March in March

This year I will be taking on Run Walk Crawl 70km Ultra marathon Brecon to Cardiff in February and as a warm down I will be completing the March in March to raise vital funds for life-changing mental health treatment for veterans.

As a Veteran who suffers with PTSD and currently exploring trauma therapy with an incredible therapist. I personally know the importance of getting help, speaking out, and finding the right support to get veterans on the front foot to enable a better quality of life. I have been in the hands of Veterans NHS Wales for the past 12 months and can say that although it was difficult to do, I am proud to of asked for help as its changed my life around. 

Combat Stress is the UK's leading charity for veterans' mental health. For over a century, they've helped former servicemen and women deal with issues like trauma, anxiety, depression and post-traumatic stress disorder. Today, they provide support to veterans from every service and every conflict.

I’m taking on March in March to help take vital steps towards ensuring veterans can get the support they need.

Thank you so much for your support and together we march!